My week in point form …

  • Good: I started going back to yoga last week … I have been three times in the last week
  • Bad: I skipped yoga tonight because I couldn’t find the energy to go … and the yoga has been making my shoulder very sore
  • Good: Started a biggest loser challenge today for the next 8 weeks
  • Bad: won a free donut on Roll Up The Rim and ate a Boston cream
  • Good: Starting taking anti-depressants (again) … I have a good feeling that this will help with my depression
  • Bad: I may have to have surgery on my shoulder because my collarbone fracture didn’t heal properly (really hoping that this will not be the case)
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Turned 32 …

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My darling gave me an orchid for Valentine’s Day and for my birthday a gift card for The Body Shop for an obscene amount … I went on a spree there yesterday and only used half of it. I’ve been spoiled!

Now that I’m another year older, I wonder if I am another year wiser or not. I find myself still making a lot of the same mistakes … still being negative and pessimistic even though I have so much to be grateful for. And it’s like I just don’t know how to stop.

It’s hard to believe I am 32 … I don’t feel 32 … I still feel like a kid in a lot of ways. Sometimes I feel like people will never take me seriously. Sometimes I even get the crazy idea that people won’t take me seriously or treat me like an adult until I’m a wife and a mother … I know that sounds silly or even offensive, but hear me out … even at 32, people still call me “young girl” and “young one” and “young lady” … nobody ever talks like that about a Mrs. or somebody’s mom. But that’s not why I want to get married and have kids of course. When I think about my life in the future, that’s just how I picture it … with a husband and kids. It feels right to me. And luckily my darling wants the same things that I want. It’s true what everyone told me when I was single … when you meet the right person, you just know … and it happens quickly. We’ve been together for 5 months and we’ve already talked about these big plans for the future. It sounds kinda crazy to say it out loud.