You had to have the biiiiig salad!

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I’m a big fan of Seinfeld … and lately I’ve been channeling Elaine Benes, cause I gotta have a big salad! I fill my big salad bowl with lettuce and whatever other veggies I have on hand … tomato, bell peppers, and avocado are my favorites. Then I add some chicken, plus my cheese and dressing … I’ve been alternating between Greek feta dressing and feta cheese, or Kraft three cheese ranch dressing with shredded cheddar cheese. It’s simple but delicious and so filling, and I don’t feel bad after! I like to switch up my salads so I don’t get bored, but I’ve been having one every weekday. I know the cheese is not so great, but most of my ingredients are very healthy. And I used to make my own dressings, but often I’m either too busy or too lazy. Maybe in the summer I will start it up again. And also toying with the idea of starting up my detox again, although I don’t quite have the fortitude yet.

Spring is in the air!

I went for my first run of the year yesterday and it felt great … although my knees were a little sore and I felt a little winded. I know that if I keep it up those things will improve. I especially need to get some weight off to get the pressure off my knees. My dog was a great running companion, as always.

I am so in love … I can’t even believe it, when I think back to where I was this time last year. You never know when you will meet someone so right for you. I thank God every day for bringing Reptile Man into my life.

I don’t mean to sound so sappy, but I am just feeling really positive right now and really thankful to see spring again, and enjoying every little part of my day, even the simplest things like my morning coffee or watching Netflix to unwind at night. How lucky am I.

I’m really looking forward to seeing Counting Crows this weekend, and then on Monday will meet with a specialist so I can finally get some answers about whether or not I will need surgery on my collarbone. Hopefully not, but the not knowing part sucks!

My week in point form …

  • Good: I started going back to yoga last week … I have been three times in the last week
  • Bad: I skipped yoga tonight because I couldn’t find the energy to go … and the yoga has been making my shoulder very sore
  • Good: Started a biggest loser challenge today for the next 8 weeks
  • Bad: won a free donut on Roll Up The Rim and ate a Boston cream
  • Good: Starting taking anti-depressants (again) … I have a good feeling that this will help with my depression
  • Bad: I may have to have surgery on my shoulder because my collarbone fracture didn’t heal properly (really hoping that this will not be the case)

Reflecting on love and good fortune …

Apparently I’ve become accident-prone. While walking the dog yesterday, I slipped and fell on some ice and actually landed on my head. That has never happened to me before … usually I can brace myself with my hands or arms, but not this time. My head hit the pavement so hard I actually heard a crack. I never had a lump but my head hurt all over; what decided me on going to the emergency room was the fact that my neck felt both stiff and numb; I was also worried that I might have done further damage to my collarbone. But luckily I was fine and I didn’t even have to wait long at the hospital. I just pulled the muscles in my neck, and the doctor put me off work for the day, so I guess everything worked out for me in the end. However, my dream of returning to yoga class seems further and further away from me all the time … sigh. I keep hurting myself :/

On a more positive note, Valentine’s Day turned out to be great. The bf and I decided that we were not gonna see each other because he had to work, and we were expecting a snowstorm (this makes long distance relationships tricky). But on Saturday it was clear skies, so I showed up at his place after work with steaks, wine, and cheesecake 🙂 It was a win!!

It feels really weird (in a good way, of course) to finally be in a normal relationship with a great guy who treats me really well. When I think of my past, I mostly feel shame that I allowed guys to treat me like crap for so long. I accept that I was partly responsible for that because I participated and kept putting myself in those situations. After kissing so many frogs, I finally met my prince … the guy that I was convinced did not exist. Ladies, do not give up on finding Mr. Right … if I can, anybody can! And it can happen so fast. I think back to where I was this time last year … in a relationship that was also long distance, but with a guy who could never be bothered to come visit me. I always had to go see him. And yes he was a single dad but his ex-wife shared custody and his parents were always available to babysit. Over the course of our one year relationship, he only came to visit me twice! WTF is that!? This was a guy who called me the C-word when he was angry and said “I dare you to do better.” Well, guess what buddy … I DID do better. And not only did I find someone who treats me better – treats me like I’m important and I matter – but somebody who wants the same things I want in life: a marriage, a family, a life together. I can’t fault my ex for not wanting those things, but I can fault him for not being honest and stringing me along for so long.

So much can happen in a year, and I’m so grateful that I found something better, something real. And I’m glad that even with all of the crap I went through in all of my relationships, that I never gave up on the hope of finding real love.

Tonight’s dinnah …

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… is a homemade pita pizza with tomato, green pepper, feta cheese, olive oil, and a variety of spices. I know the Coke is not a great choice, but something about pizza – even healthy pizza – makes me crave carbonated beverages.

I’ve been back on the healthy eating wagon for only two days, but I can already feel the difference. I was miserable with a cold on Sunday night and most of the day yesterday but now I feel almost completely better. I usually take about a week to get well again; 48 hours recovery time is amazing for me! I had a raw sore throat Sunday night; it burned with the fire of 10,000 suns. My nose was a leaky faucet. I won’t even get into the deets of what I was coughing up (sorry TMI). Now all I have is a mild case of the sniffles. I’m really on board with this idea that we can control much of our health with diet and exercise. I know that some conditions are hereditary or cannot be influenced in that way, but minor things like colds or headaches, I really think healthy eating can improve it.

Breakfast of Champions

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Looks like poo, but this was my breakfast every morning for the past week … a banana with a tablespoon of almond butter and a coffee with milk (no sugar). My day starts out great and quickly devolves from there … did a bit of cheating today *coughTim’scough* but still trying to make good choices overall. This weekend will be difficult, as I am going on a road trip with Reptile Man.

New year … will 2015 finally be my year!?

I am not big on New Year’s resolutions, but I have a few this year that might even be attainable.

1. I aim to walk at least 10,000 steps every day

2. Reach my goal weight of 130 lbs.

3. Spend more time with my girlfriends … since I got a boyfriend I have been spending soooo much of my time with him that I feel my friendships are being neglected … and I never want to be “that girl”! (You know, the one who gets a boyfriend and ignores her friends.)

I am enjoying a snow day today … it helps ease me back into the regular workweek. I was only off for two weeks but it felt longer! I really enjoyed the holidays and all the quality time with Reptile Man.

I am on Day 4 of my detox diet, and still going strong … have not touched junk food, alcohol, pop, chocolate, processed foods, or cheese since Sunday. I am hoping to make it to Day 20 this time (last time I tried this, I got hit by a car on Day 5 and it all went to $hit).

Today’s lazy snow day menu was:

Breakfast: 2 cups of coffee with milk (no sugar) and a banana

Lunch: Campbell’s Healthy Request Fiesta Black Bean Vegetable soup (I ate the whole can); and a chicken wrap with ranch dressing, avocado, and romaine lettuce

Dinner: Asian salmon (recipe lifted from a Women’s Health mag); red onion and bell peppers roasted with olive oil; and half a cup of brown rice

Dessert: Oikos Greek yogurt (vanilla) and frozen cherries

I technically did a lot of cheating. For example, I am not supposed to have coffee, bananas, canned soup, tortilla, store-bought dressings, or rice. But considering how I normally eat, I feel like a saint right now and it’s already doing me some good.

Normally I don’t mind shoveling snow in the winter because I need the exercise and I love the fresh air, but unfortunately even 7 weeks after I broke my collarbone, it still hurts even putting a shirt on … so shoveling is out 😦 I have been struggling to find ways to exercise without hurting myself … even walking is difficult now because it’s so slippery out. If I fall down, I could hurt myself reeeeal bad.

Tomorrow is Friday and I can’t wait to see my man … I don’t remember when I’ve ever been this happy! 🙂

And just like that …

… the holidays are almost over!

I am really looking forward to having an enjoyable New Year’s Eve after the last several crap ones. I have an awesome boyfriend to kiss at midnight, a beautiful dress (that I got for sale $30 oh yeah!), and a party to go to.

Speaking of boyfriend, he spent Christmas with me and my family and I couldn’t be happier. We spent six days/nights together in a row (three at my place, then three at his). He spoiled me over Christmas with so many nice gifts, including a key to his apartment ❤ 🙂 Also a beautiful necklace. I am the luckiest, happiest girl in the world. We haven’t had a real “fight” yet (well, it’s only been three months so we should still be on our “honeymoon”), but spending so much time together has caused us to bicker a bit and irritate each other at times. We are currently spending two days apart so we can have some time alone and do the things we need to do … he is working today, actually. I also had a pile of laundry to do (he has no washer/dryer).

Pants are tight, especially with all of the holiday eating and drinking … however, I have started walking again with my dog (my mother the angel was taking care of him and walking him due to my broken collarbone). I am really enjoying the holidays (and time off work) and although I am dreading going back to work (because I have so much to do when I go back), I am kind of looking forward to starting my detox and getting some of this combination holiday/accident weight off.

Gettin’ fappy (fat+happy)

My weight has crept back up to 180, which was very scary for me, after keeping in the 170s throughout most of the summer and fall. I am now at my heaviest weight since late August and not feeling great about it (even though my hot younger bf makes me feel sexy anyways 😛 ).

After the phenomenal success of my 10-day detox diet in the summer (lost 8 lbs. in 10 days), I am going to attempt doing it for 20 days, starting on Monday (after the birthday celebrations of my best friend this weekend). So that’s Monday, November 17th to Saturday, December 6th. I am really nervous but also really excited about it at the same time, and hoping I have success with it again. And I’ll be finished in time for the holidays … I’ll get to indulge without feeling gross in my holiday dresses.

Things are going amazingly well with Snakes … as Nicki Minaj would say, he loves this fat ass … 😛

In all seriousness, he did tell me that he loves me … and I feel the same way. We are doing really well at making it work, even with the semi-long distance. I can’t say enough good things about him and I am so happy. And the sex is just WOW. Sorry for TMI. But it’s true. I love being with him, even if we’re just on the couch watching a movie. He’s so much fun and so easy to get along with. ❤

So I’ll be starting my detox again on the 17th … and I’ll be updating regularly and looking for lots of moral support. Help me! 🙂