Since I wrote last, I actually turned 30 (so I started this blog at 29, sue me :P).
It was a much better birthday than I expected … I had a great time volunteering that weekend and getting to know some of the awesome girls in the community … then surprised by a birthday pizza, cake, and taco-in-a-bag (local specialty) by my awesome friends! I was very touched. Sometimes I feel all emo like “nobody cares about me” and “I have no real friends here,” but then you never know when people are going to touch your heart (sappy, I know, but that’s how I felt). I never expected anybody to care about my birthday, but they did, and that made it so special.
Turning 30 was not as depressing as I thought it might be … I feel great (have lost a total of 13 lbs. in the last 8 weeks on Weight Watchers, so that helps too), but I guess I’m just not “there,” where I expected to be at 30. But I guess we have to stop expecting things to turn out a certain way and just appreciate the amazing things that can happen in life. Although my job is stressful and has aged me at least another 10 years, I love it and I’m so grateful to have it. I’m grateful to be here. Being single can also be depressing at times, but then again I am happy to be single too. I just wish there were some guys around that I could practice flirting with 😛 Even though I might wish to be paired up, ultimately I know that it’s not my time and I’m not ready for that. My last relationship ended 7 months ago, but it was so abusive and damaging that I can’t even really think about even going on a date with someone. I think it’s healthier to give myself all the time I need to heal, which is something I never really did before; I just jumped from one boyfriend to the next. It (marriage) might never happen for me, but it probably will. I just have to keep an open mind and an open heart, and I will never give up hoping.
Some good things are in the near future for me … next week I get 4 days off work and a free trip to Winnipeg 🙂 It’s for work, and yeah I will learn stuff too 😛 But I’m really happy to have the break, because my job has been soooo stressful lately. I started meditating but it doesn’t seem to be working for me yet. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? It’s impossible for me to shut up the voices in my head.
And in two weeks time, I get to say Aloha! again cause I’m off to Hawaii for March break 🙂 The only downside is that I will miss my pup and worry that he is lonely without me. But he’ll be ok. I am an overprotective doggie mom. All in all, it feels good to be me right now!
Tomorrow I try cross-country skiing again though, so we’ll see how that works out … I hope I do better than last time!